The Powers That Be - Week Three

A Story of Power…

It wasn’t until recently I realized my value at work. I realized my power. Working since my ripe teenage years, I have always had doubt in my work product. At the age of 30 years old, I had been with my employer for 7 years. I was always unsure of what I was doing. If it was enough. If it was ok. I tried to push myself to make less and less mistakes over the years but I was never really confident in myself. I figured I had to be doing “something” right because I was still employed, but that wasn’t enough to keep me calm. A job opportunity approached me. Something in a completely different field making more money and meeting new people. I thought to myself, sure! Why not stir the pot and see where it takes me. I nervously approached my boss of 7 years with my news. I laid it all out on the line proceeding with caution of course.  I was unsure of what his reaction would be, but I pretty much had my bags packed. I was certain I was walking into his office, giving my two weeks notice and I’d probably be escorted from the building by security. I gave my boss the rundown of the offer and much to my surprise his red Irish face turned pale white. I immediately saw panic set in over the most controlled of men. He wanted the opportunity to counter offer. Something I was told my firm had a strict policy against. My boss raved about my work! I knew the ropes, I knew the job. I grew up there over 7 years. I helped him run an extraordinarily successful practice. He needed me! Me! The one, who every day walked in to the office being sure it was my last day. It was then I realized, wow, I am good at this. When all is laid out in front of you, hearing positive feedback from a person who rarely compliments anyone but himself was a shift in power for me. I gave my boss the opportunity to counter offer and I stayed!

A Story of Lost Power……

Yes, my boss counter offered. I made a quick decision to stay and I was flying high. I walked into work every day with a smile from ear to ear.  A sort of arrogance had set in. More money, no need to start a new job, and I was irreplaceable! This was great, until…….. the Scales of Justice had shifted out of my favor. Coincidentally, a colleague had a job offer within two weeks of my offer. She attempted to give her two weeks notice and her boss countered. She had been there for a year longer than I and her boss was not about to let her go either. Several top ranking partners at the firm had caught wind of the recent “discussions” my colleague and I had with our supervisors. It seemed to be a topic of conversation over their overpriced salads. They were displeased with the news that they countered offered to keep two employees within a two week time span. In being displeased, words flew over the lunch table of lying about  potential positions to gain an increase in salary. They felt the wool was pulled over their eyes. A conspiracy against them. I caught wind of all that was said and I was completely crushed! How could they say this? Was I not as valuable as I thought? I began to question myself and my work once again. My smile was ripped from me with words of hurt. I had lost power. It wasn’t until a few weeks later, after contemplating emailing my offer letter to every partner in the firm, that I realized they had gained complete power over me with just their words. Words that were not said directly to me, but about me. I realized their words were valueless. I knew the truth. They projected a negative image onto me because they could not believe we broke their rule. They have never counter offered for anyone. That was made clear. Yet, my colleague and I were still there. We disrupted their balance.  I continued to work at the same firm, but with an entirely new attitude. My work is above and beyond. I am good at what I do and I know my own value. I do not need to hear it from another person to believe it. This is not the last stop in my life or my career. I remind myself of that when things get difficult.

Harnessing Power.......         
                           

Over the past few years, simple techniques have helped me to regain power. I have learned to stay focused. I remain positive over myself, what I have accomplished and what I know I will accomplish further. Reflection is a big part of being focused. Sitting quietly and reflecting on situations, experiences and life, helps me to put things back into perspective when the universe shifts life out of whack. The wisdom of knowing who you are helps to keep the balance when negativity is thrown into your world. It is an ongoing battle but every day I get a little closer to realizing the importance of me and what I have to offer.

 Week Three  - Poem

When I Was a Limitless Child

When I was a limitless child;

 visions of whimsical dreams

cascaded through my sleep.

Endless possibilities

traced upon hopes

of what could be.

Using the essence of my innocence
to accomplish
the smallest of my needs.

A tree house, a picnic, that shiny new toy,
There were no boundaries
on the lines I would feed.

When I was a limitless child; 

Glass globes encased

these tiny dancers;

Snow twirling in thin air.

Such tiny dancers

moved ballet clad feet

to dance without a care.

When I was a limitless child; 

    The simplicity, the playfulness,

 the power of persuasion

 held strong and true.

A pout, a tear,

a subtle soft whisper

could break any of their rules.

                                                    
To be a limitless child;
To think back to what

once was.

Pure undeniable innocence

surfacing laughter

without pause.

This limitless child we speak of
holds no fear, no vanity,
no doubt.

A child driven by purity,
excitement; enthusiasm,
Reminding us of what life is about.