Life And All It Brings - Week Four

Life is combined with a tremendous amount of experiences that stand out to us. Every one of us has had major turning points in our journey through life as we know it. These turning points start out as small as a first step. As big as a first word. As nerve racking as a first kiss. A moment of impact so great or so terrifying that it resonates in your soul. Boom! It sets the wheels in motion for our minds to think beyond what is or what was and on to what will be. In my life, there are many moments that come to mind when thinking back at turning points. These moments are a tiny makeup of my greater good.

Restraining Order      
      

From an outside perspective, I grew up in a solid home. A home in which consisted of a mother, a father and siblings. Inside this perfect picture lay chaos. My older brother, Michael, started drinking at the age of 14. Michael's drinking was a cover to much deeper mental issues that none of us could have ever comprehended. The liquid poison he consumed on a day to day basis wasn't enough to numb what he was battling inside. He turned to drugs. He started with pot and went bigger and bigger as the years went by. The combination of Michael's drinking, drug abuse and mental illness lead to World War III in our picture perfect home. He always started small. On a bad day, he'd break a photo or a glass. On a worse day, he'd pick a target and curse and throw things. On his worst of days, physical violence was his solution to all problems. He didn't care who he would hurt or how. After over 8 years of living at home with Michael and his demons, the worst had come to head. I came home from work and instantly became his target. Michael's eyes had gone black and cold, as they usually did after a day of drinking, drugs and talking to himself. It was the worst it had ever been or I had ever encountered. It was a physical fight of him attacking (for no reason other than I was just there) and me defending. It landed me in the hospital with a concussion, bruises and half of my hair missing from my head. The very next day I took my sister and went to the courthouse. I knew if I put a restraining on Michael, he'd be ordered to stay away. In staying away, he would have to move from my parent's home. Maybe this was the kick in the ass he needed to get on the right track. It was a win, win. I was not only saving myself, but I was saving my family from sleepless nights of bipolar disorder and I was hopefully saving Michael. The restraining order was granted without a second thought by the Judge. Michael moved out. My parents refused to speak a word to me and I couldn't understand why. I was helping them! At least I thought I was? Thirty days of a great night's sleep went by. My parents begged me not to go back to court to further the order because Michael was officially homeless. The next day Michael moved back in. I moved out.

Awkward Entertainment          

   
It was around my 21st birthday that my sister started dating a guy in this band called Savin Ill. She would drag me to local venues following her new guy as if we were teeny boppers working our way through a crowd of estrogen filled little girls at an N'Sync concert. I always had the propelled notion that I'd rather chew sand than be dragged to another one of this guy's gigs. Much to my surprise, after 3 or 4 of these instrumentally filled nights, I became hooked! I became culturally aware of the many types of music that underground venues had to offer. My sister's boyfriend saw my enthusiasm in all of this music and ran with it. He started up a company called Awkward Entertainment and signed me right on. It was a small company (which currently doesn't exist). We'd book underground local hip hop artists at venues throughout Boston and Cambridge. It was a tail spin into an entire new world for me. After working with so many talented local hip hop artists, we moved on to booking some of the better known talents. The Middle East in Cambridge, Massachusetts was our main venue. I was able to work with artists such as Wu Tang, Common and Mos Def. Hearing their stories, listening to their talents and working with some of the most influential rappers that have paved the way for hip hop was life changing for me. It broadened my scope not only in music but in my way of thinking as well.

Miami, 2007       

It wasn't until 2007, that a friendship I shared with three other women became epic. This friendship became an impenetrable stone of life. It was September and I was single! Coincidentally and much to all of our surprises, we were all single at the same time. (Unheard of, right?). The bond that was formed with these three amazing women was what most would call, destiny. Jo, who has been my best friend since grade school, went off to college and met Chelsea. Marisa, who is Chelsea's best friend from grade school, knew it was a perfect time for her to take a girls trip, which she had never done before. It all started with one email and four email addresses. The subject line read "Miami anyone?". It was on! It was the perfect time in all of our lives to just get away and live. We arrived in Miami with a will and a way. The first night there, after being exhausted from working all day and catching a flight,we decided we would have one low key night, get some rest and start fresh the next day. Pffff! That didn't happen. We convened at a bar called Mangos on the strip. It took all but two lemon drop shots each for the next five days to be filled with pure laughter, happiness and memories. We were unstoppable. Through our trip, we became each others allies. We learned each other in ways only sisters know. From that trip forward, these women have been a lifeline to me in my most exciting or simple of times. They are my rocks, my voices of reason and my "go to" girls for whenever I need to smile.



(From the left, Chelsea, Joke', Me, Marisa)

Week 4 Poem
(hip hop verse)

Bartender



Slingin drinks

sweat drippin down my back

got a line of 10 deep

most lookin like they on crack

Music is poundin

My head is poundin too

"10 shots of henney honey

and a shot of tequila for you"

10 heads roll by

10 more come through

"Can I get a bud, a Corona

and lil mama needs a Sex on the Beach"

"Yeah, and please bartender

make sure it aint weak"

No problem Miss
Now wipe that lipstick off your teeth

Bottles flippin through my hands

SHIT! I'm out of ice

Where's my bar back at?

This is why I can't be nice

On to the next.

"Hey bartender. Nice tat.
Yo, can I get ya digits?"

My number? I'm sorry.
Maybe when you speak proper English.

Here comes Miss Lipstick.

"My drink isn't strong, It needs
more Vodka. Can you move it along"

My eyes reach the sky
Come get yourself

Here take my spot doll
While I grab myself
a bottle of top shelf

I'm over this job
I'm over this noise

Girls wearin heels they can't walk in
and grown men acting like boys